Calculating the Promiscuity Discount

I assumed the task of selling Patty's old car. It sounded simple- post on Craigslist at a fair price($1500), disclosing every flaw I could think of, and wait for a buyer. I eventually found a buyer, but in the interim experienced first-hand the biggest problem facing our nation.

The first three inquiries were amusing. “I am looking for a decent, cheap car for my 25 year-old daughter so she can get a job” emailed one woman. A man from Palm Bay drove up to look at the car. He also needed a cheap, reliable car for his 23 year-old son, yes- so he could get a job. NEWS FLASH! Oh, never mind. The third was a 20-something guy who could only afford $1000 because he wrecked his uninsured, unregistered car and now must buy insurance in advance and register this one. His irresponsibility justified a 33% discount.

I then discovered a group deserving special discounts by virtue of their, well, lack of virtue. “Hi, I'm a single mom with 2 kids, and I really need a safe, reliable car to get around. I can't afford what you are asking, but really need a car. Would you take $1100 for it?” Have I missed something? Do the Girl Scouts now have a Merit Badge for “Single Mom”? Have “single moms” replaced Nuns in the virtuous, deserving department? Are they the new Mother Teresa? Surely this was a fluke. How could anyone believe that her status as an indiscriminate leg-spreader qualify her for a better price? She was not alone. The next 3 days saw emails from 4 other “single moms” proudly proclaiming their status, and asking for a lower price accordingly. Not widows. Not abandoned spouses. Happy, if not eager to proclaim their status of “single mom” and expect all discounts, benefits, and privileges that go with the title. Shame and pride have been replaced by self-esteem and a sense of entitlement.

The car was sold to a FATHER whose daughter's car had been wrecked(see prospect #3) and they needed a car to get her back to school Monday. She was thrilled to find a car in such clean condition, and he was willing to write the check without asking for a discount for his daughter. I suppose her status as a clean, college-bound, 'A' student carries no expectation of special accommodation. How refreshing. Those truly deserving never ask.

Why do promiscuity and the resulting offspring give those engaged in the practice a sense of entitlement? If they truly do deserve a reduced price as a result of their behavior, how much of a reduction is appropriate?

This expectation formula is clouded by variables such as current boyfriends and the return of baby-daddies of earlier children, but the following formula should suffice as a guide. I fully expect an I-phone APP to be released in the near future:

SMD=((noc)+(nbd))X6

Where SMD is single mom discount, noc is number of children, and nbd is the number of baby daddies. Note that the formula attempts to calculate what they expect, not deserve.

Apparently, I am not alone in this attempt to identify the appropriate discount for this group of consumers. In the bread aisle at Walmart, they have added a new product. It is a 1 pound loaf of bread priced at about 33% less than comparable products. Appropriately, it is called “Bimbo Bread.” That's Bread.....

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